


You Remind Me of Home

by wingsdestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Mark of Cain, Claire Ships It, Dean and Cas being dads, Gen, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Claire Novak, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s10e20 Angel Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 08:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3930577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsdestiel/pseuds/wingsdestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in an AU where Dean doesn't have the Mark of Cain, and Claire comes to the bunker to live with Team Free Will after 10x20. Claire's period comes early, so Dean and Cas go to the store to get her what she needs. That leads to a heart-to-heart between Dean and Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Remind Me of Home

Claire’s been staying at the bunker for a while when her period comes early, and the two tampons in her bag aren’t gonna help for very long. She thought she had a few days to make a supply run, but it turns out she’s out of luck. Still, she’s not a baby, she can take care of herself, dammit. So she stumbles out to the kitchen, probably looking like hell, and asks Cas if she can borrow his car.

He squints in that dorky way he does. “Why?”

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna make a run for it,” she says while trying to ignore her cramps. They’re always worst in the beginning.

“I would feel better if I accompanied you.”

“I need to do something kinda personal…” she starts.

Dean walks in to grab a beer from the fridge and immediately looks at both of them with concern. “Is she trying to con you, Cas?”

Claire rolls her eyes. Dean’s always so defensive of his precious angel. Now if only he would admit to himself that there’s something distinctly non-platonic about it.

“She wants to make a personal trip in my car,” Cas says, clearly asking Dean for his opinion. They’re such a married couple.

Dean looks to where Claire’s hand is splayed across her lower abdomen – less casually than she had hoped, apparently – and a look of recognition crosses his face. “Hey,” he says. Once she meets his gaze, he asks, “You okay?”

“I’m in a lot of fucking pain, so if we could hurry this up…” It comes out harsher than she intends.

“You stay here,” Dean says. “Lie down. We’ll go get what you need. Actually, you know what? We have painkillers here, so I’ll go get those now. It’s tampons you want from the store, I’m guessing?”

Cas finally seems to realize what’s happening, and stands up. “I’ll come with you to the store, Dean. It’s important that I know what to get in case this happens again.”

Claire sighs. For an angelic warrior, he’s pretty slow on the uptake. “It’s not gonna happen again,” she says. “And yeah,” she adds, answering Dean’s question. “Regular’s fine.”

Dean nods and heads down the hallway. He comes back a moment later with a couple of pills. “You can take these now, and I’ll give you more when we get back.”

“Why don’t you just give me the bottle?”

Dean shakes his head and Cas narrows his eyes. “No way,” Dean says. “They’re very strong, I promise. But I keep my controlled substances away from kids.”

“I’m legal now,” she reminds him.

“Yeah, well,” Dean says. “I’m still not giving you a whole bottle of pain meds.”

Claire takes the pills out of Dean’s hand. “Fine.”

Cas hands her a glass of water that seems to have appeared out of nowhere. She takes it and smiles a thank-you before downing both pills.

“Dude,” Dean says. “We’re literally in the kitchen. You could’ve just walked over to the fridge and – ”

“Let’s just go, Dean. Claire is in pain.”

“Ok, but we’re taking the car,” Dean says.

“Why – ” Claire starts.

“Flying has always caused ill-effects for Dean,” Cas explains.

Dean turns back to Claire. “Seriously. Everything gets all weird.” He gestures to his stomach. “The store’s not too far, anyway. It shouldn’t be longer than a half hour.”

“We’ll be back as soon as we can,” Cas adds. “Call if you think of anything else you need.”

“And Sam’s in the library being a nerd, I think, so if you want him to make you a sandwich or something, text him.”

“I’ll be fine,” she says, and starts back to her room to lie down. “Thanks, guys.”

*** 

“How did you know?” Cas asks Dean in the car.

“Spend enough time around women and you’ll learn to recognize certain things,” he replies simply. Lisa had an irregular cycle and terrible cramps, and Dean has done runs like this a few times before. That’s the full answer. But he doesn’t want to talk about Lisa, and certainly not with Cas.

“It was kind of you to offer to go to the store for her,” Cas says.

“It’s no big deal,” Dean says. “If she’s miserable, I don’t want her having to drive around.”

“Dean, can you promise me something?”

Dean grips the wheel a bit harder. “’Course. Anything.”

“If something happens to me – again – I need you to take care of Claire.”

“Well, it’s like she said, she’s an adult now. I can teach her how to shoot better, and fight better, but – ”

“I know I’m not the expert on humans, Dean, but I don’t think people stop needing family when they turn eighteen. And the way you are with her… ” He pauses and sighs. “I think you’d make a good father, Dean. I think you could give her back a part of something that I took away from her.”

Dean scoffs. “I would be _the worst_ father ever.”

“That’s not true,” Cas says. “As someone who has developed very paternalistic feelings towards Claire, trust me when I say that I would not ask you to watch over her if I didn’t think you were capable. At the very least, you and Sam would be the best people to keep her safe if something were to happen to me.”

“Alright, Cas,” Dean says. “I’ll adopt your adopted daughter. But nothing’s going to happen to you.”

Cas smiles. “Thank you, Dean. I feel better knowing that she has a home with you.”

Dean bites his lip. If there were ever a good time, now would probably be it. “You do, too, you know.”

“What?”

“You have a home. With us.” He takes a shaky breath. “With me.”

“I know. I’m currently staying in the bunker with you.”

“Yeah,” Dean says, “but what I’m trying to say is, that’s not just some temporary thing. You’re family. You don’t have to say you’re ‘staying with us.’ It’s your home, too. I mean, if you want.”

Cas sighs. “I used to want to go back to heaven. Now I think maybe I wouldn’t belong there anymore.”

Dean smirks. “It doesn’t seem like you _ever_ really fit in up there.”

“I don’t think I fit in down here, either. I don’t even know how to buy tampons.”

“Don’t sweat it. Most guys don’t. And as far as being Claire’s surrogate dad goes, you’re doing great. You know she keeps that stupid cat thing you gave her on her bed, right?”

“No, I didn’t know that,” Cas says with a small smile.

“Every time I walk by, it’s sitting there, staring at me.”

“For someone who has been to hell, you are unnerved by strange things.”

“Do you know how many cursed objects I’ve had to torch? And do you know how many of them have been kids’ toys? It’s so much worse when they have eyes, man.”

Cas shakes his head and chuckles, and Dean thinks it’s a sound he doesn’t hear nearly often enough.

In the store, Cas is perplexed by the sheer number of products that all seem to have similar functions, but also promise different things.

“This one says ‘gentle glide,’” he says. “That suggests that the others are not gentle. So why would anyone purchase the ones that are not gentle? Dean?”

“Don’t worry about that stuff. She said to get regular, so we’re gonna get one that says regular, but not the store brand.”

“But the store brand is the least expensive.”

“Yeah, and from what I hear, there’s a reason for that. So here.” Dean picks up a box of regular tampons and hands them to Cas.

Cas squints at the type on the box. “Forty-eight seems like a lot. From what I understand about the menstrual cycle – ”

“Always buy in bulk, Cas. These things are stupid expensive, so you gotta stock up.”

Cas nods, and Dean almost laughs at the serious expression on his face.

“You know what else I bet she’d like?” Dean says.

“Hmm?”

“Ice cream. Let’s get her some chocolate ice cream. Everybody likes chocolate, right?”

At the checkout stand, the cashier lets out a soft laugh when she sees what they’re purchasing. “I’ve seen this combination many times,” she says. “One of you guys is a really great boyfriend.”

“Actually, it’s for our daughter,” Cas says bluntly.

Dean almost drops the cash he’s holding. _Our_ daughter. Our? Daughter?

Somehow he manages to get ahold of himself just enough to hand over a twenty.

“Aw, that’s sweet. You’re great dads, then.” The cashier smiles and hands over their change.

Cas returns the smile as he picks up their bags. “Thank you,” he says.

Dean stares at the linoleum floor, certain that he’s forgotten how to breathe.

“You okay, sir?” the cashier asks.

Dean forces himself to look up again. “Yeah, I’m fine. You have a good day.” He follows Cas out the door.

They’re both silent on the walk back to the car. Once they’re inside, Dean puts the keys in the ignition, but doesn’t start the car. “W-why did you – ?”

“We can’t exactly give her the whole story, Dean,” Cas points out. “What did you want me to say? ‘There’s a girl who’s technically an orphan – and that’s my fault, for taking her father as a vessel and then causing that vessel to be destroyed and killing her father in the process, and ultimately failing to rescue her mother from her kidnapper – and this is my friend who has taught me how to blend in with humanity, and now we’re taking care of said orphan, and these purchases are for her?’”

Dean splutters. “N-no. But you could’ve just gone with what the cashier said. The girlfriend thing.”

Cas shrugs. “I prefer to be somewhat honest when possible, and especially considering the conversation we had on our way here, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that we’re both father figures to Claire in some way.”

“Yeah, but the way you said it… ” He trails off awkwardly.

“Yes?”

“You said ‘our daughter,’ and that makes it seem like we have a daughter, _together_. You know?”

There’s a long pause. Cas is looking at his hands where they’re folded in his lap. “And that would bother you,” he says. “If people thought that.”

The look in Cas’ eyes is one of hurt and disappointment, and Dean quickly realizes just how much he wants to punch himself in the face for putting it there. But when he moves beyond that knee-jerk reaction, he also comes to recognize the implications of that hurt and disappointment. That would mean…

“Do you _want_ people to think that?” he asks point-blank.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Dean.”

“Man, you’ve been hanging out with me too long, ’cause you really know how to dodge a question.”

Cas sighs. “I do not find the idea of raising a child with my closest friend to be unfavorable. If I were to share the required responsibilities with someone, I would choose you. So if I refer to both of us as Claire’s guardians, I don’t particularly care how others interpret that.” There’s something uncharacteristically apprehensive about Cas’ voice, and he continues to stare at his lap rather than make eye contact.

“Well, thanks, I guess,” Dean says. He knows there’s quite possibly something else that Cas isn’t telling him, but he starts the car anyway, trying to ease some of the tension. If anything, the tension is only worse by the time they’re out of the parking lot and back on the highway, so Dean tries something else. “Look, man, I don’t want you to think that I’m freaked out by whatever that girl thought, or whatever people are gonna think. Who cares, right?”

“You do, Dean. You clearly do.”

“Alright, but I care about you more.”

“What?”

“I care about what other people think, but not as much as I care about you.” Dean takes a deep breath and tries again to say what he wanted to say earlier. “I care about you a lot. Maybe more than I should. And maybe what bothered me so damn much back there was that girl thinking I have something that I don’t have. Something that I figure I can’t have.”

Cas squints. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you, you son of a bitch. And it scares the hell out of me. So if you don’t feel the same way, please just do us both a favor and zap yourself back to the bunker and pretend I never said anything.” Dean tries to ignore the adrenaline rushing through his system, and braces himself for rejection.

Several agonizing seconds go by, and Cas is still sitting in the passenger seat, his eyes wide and fixed on the road ahead. “You… don’t normally say that to people,” he finally says. “Not verbally.”

He keeps his guard up. “Damn right I don’t.”

“But unless I misunderstand you, Dean – and for once, I don’t think that is the case – then I feel the same way. I have for a long time.”

“You – what?”

“I’ve always been honored to know you, to be your friend. But I would be lying if I said I never longed for more.” Cas says it with such composure that Dean almost wants to smack him.

“What – Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Until now, I believed it would make you uncomfortable, regardless of the signals you have always sent me.”

Dean turns and looks at Cas. It’s probably dangerous for him to be looking away from the road for that long, but he doesn’t even care. He just needs to see Cas’ face, to make sure this is real. Cas’ eyebrows are slightly raised, as if he’s waiting for some sort of response. Dean finds his gaze lingering on Cas’ slightly messy hair, his chapped lips, his stubble that always seems to stay the same exact length. The staring does not go unnoticed.

“I think this is usually when we would kiss,” Cas says, “but you’re driving, and I think it would be unsafe to multitask.”

“And this is usually when I would pull over. Believe me, I want to, but… ”

“But Claire is waiting.”

“Yeah. But as soon as we get back and give her the stuff we bought, we’ll make up for some lost time, ok?”

Cas turns and smiles at him, and he even looks a little impatient. Dean decides that’s a look he wants to see on Cas’ face more often. And maybe he can be the one to put it there.

 ***

Claire wakes up in her bed an hour later. She must’ve fallen asleep after the painkillers started working. On her nightstand is a box of tampons, a glass of water, a couple more pills, and a note in Dean’s handwriting:

_Claire –_

_There’s ice cream in the freezer. Text Sam if you want some and he’ll bring it to you. Hope you feel better. Dinner’s at 7 if you feel up to it. We’re having burgers!_

_– Dean_

She smiles to herself and sits up in bed. She can hear Dean’s laughter coming from down the hall, and what sounds like Cas speaking loudly. But he sounds… happy? It’s not something she’s used to hearing. The only times she’s heard him raise his voice, he’s been angry. Now he sounds almost playful.

Claire gets up and goes to the door, sticking her head out slightly. The talking and laughing is definitely coming from Dean’s room. Dean’s totally cracking up, so something must really be hilarious. She wanders down the hall and thinks about knocking on the door, but then she hears Dean saying, “stop!” in between his laughter, and Cas laughing as well.

It’s a little gross, to be honest. They’re like dads to her, in a way, so she really doesn’t want to stick around to hear what’s going to happen next. But as she heads back to her room she can’t help thinking, _it’s about damn time._


End file.
